Alumni Night last Thursday made me realize just how closed in I've been over the past months. Work, Barcelona, Wasington D.C., learning, work. Pretty much in that order.
All of these have been largely solitary activities. And I'm continually surprised at how OK I am with all of that. I've referenced before on this blog that I am a bit of a loner. I do things on my own and am fine with that.
But I have to take a step back now and again and get some perspective. I've had more than one friend of late tell me they were worried that I was becoming too antisocial - that they didn't want to see me end up alone. And me, all I can think is: Would that be so bad?
Anymore on a Friday night, I stay in and read, I write code, I learn more about Immunology, I watch really cool indie movies, that are bucking the system and making money. If I do go out, I find a quiet end of a not too crowded bar and I think, by myself.
And I'm happy. I'm making strides in my career that are bigger steps than I've taken before. I have time to work on art. I broaden my horizons, cause I just get off on learning new stuff. I'm not stagnant. In fact, I'm right where I want to be. And while there is always a horizon to chase, I'm enjoying the trip now, no desperate urgency to get the next job, move onto the next project, come up with some idea to save myself.
Is being comfortable alone, all that bad? unhealthy? Am I gonna change my mind but then it will be too late?
Ok, thats the extent of my insecurity, hope I didn't rattle anyone too much.
Wellsir
I think if you're happy about your life, then you should go with it. I mean, seriously, it's a long game and interesting people do all sorts of weird shit. What's a few years of relative solitude? It's certainly not "normal," but fuck that noise.
On the other hand, you should probably be flattered that your friends miss you so. :)
For my part I have a harder time. I'm not so much of a loner, and come to accept that I really like living in a close community and that I want to have a family of my own. That doesn't jive too well with being a workaholic in a career that not many of my friends understand and in which you don't really ever meet girls. I don't have an answer to this other than to just keep doing what makes sense and trusting in some kind of divine providence to take care of the big stuff. Probably that's all there really is.
Happiness
If your happiness is wandering and being left to your thoughts and following where your interests lead, then why shouldn't you take the time to pursue them. What do you need with other peoples idea of happiness. Hooray for you knowing what you want.
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